Pocky Does Magical Things
by Haxutani
Summary: Ever Smith and Malena Scott. Two best friends that have one major difference: Ever hates the Legend of Zelda. However, something from the other side has dragged them in for a wild ride into the Legend of Zelda universe. And they can't leave without helping Ever's bane of existence, the Hero of Time. Updated whenever possible. "Time to take it like a man or give it like one!"


**Privet, people! So yeah, this is just something to keep you entertained while I'm thinking of ideas for IOTFM. The reason why I haven't updated it? Too much stress, no good ideas, I can't contact my co-writer, and I basically lost the entire basic outline to the story back in... February, March? So, I've been trying to rewrite one so I can hurry up and update. In the meantime, I want you to enjoy this shix while I go ahead and crack open some orange juice.**

**And yes, this is a self-insert story. Might not be a good one, but no promises. **

**Just give it a shot before you say, "A SELF-INSERT STORY? MARY-SUE UP AHEAD! CORNY UNORIGINAL PLOT!**** BURN IT WITH FIIIIYAH****! D:" Because I will try not to follow the norms of Mary-Sue Self Insertitis. **

**I don't own the Legend of Zelda. Quite obvious I don't. All I own is my OC's and the plot to this story. **

**OH! And one more thing; **_**Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you will land among the stars.**_** LET'S GET IT STARTED!**

I hate video games. Particularly, the Zelda series. Actually, I think that's the only game series that I can't stand. Why you ask?

Because Link or whoever the hell the main character is wears a dress, he doesn't talk, and he seems like he's just... well, not natural. I mean, I know that I sound stupid saying that he's not natural, but I like characters with depth and definition. The plots are good, just not him in my eyes.

But as I'm standing here in the line at Gamestop, buying a black Gamecube controller, a Wii Points card, and an SD card, I begin to question my sanity more then I usually would. It wasn't helping that my complete Zelda fangirl friend, Malena, was squeeing in my ear and talking at fifty miles per hour about how much I would enjoy Ocarina of Time when I actually would play it first-hand. I still wonder why I'm friends with her...

"Ever, you're going to LOVE the entire Zelda series when I'm done with you!" she grinned as we moved up a bit in the line.

Old people take a long time to buy video games...

"Uh-huh... yeah, sure I am," I comment, rolling my eyes and facing her.

She had her imfamous puppy dog eyes going on her face once again, sticking out her bottom lip in a little pout. Don't get me wrong, her brown eyes and Hawaiian-like skin tone made her look adorable, but I was just too used to it. Especially since she'd done it five times already.

"Oh don't make that face!" I scolded her, crossing my arms as I huffed. The people behind us gave us weird looks, going back to their conversation.

"But Everrrr! You have to like it! I'm persuasive, remember?" she whined, stamping her converse covered feet in a 'mini bitch fit' as my mom liked to call it.

"You are?" I deadpanned, raising an eyebrow.

Her face was like a kicked puppy's when it did nothing wrong."Yes..."

I sighed, turning back to the counter when it was finally time to put the stuff on the counter. Paying for the three trivial items, we thanked the store clerk and left to go to Dragon Spirits. Then we noticed something that made me stop in my tracks.

A going out of business sign.

All that came out of Malena's mouth was a bunch of gibberish before a high pitched scream/whine that a deaf person could hear. I only stood there with wide eyes.

My favorite store, that sold my favorite Milk Chocolate Pocky, was going out of business? How was this happening? One of the things that we actually LIVE for was vanishing right before our eyes! What has the world come to!

"E-Ever... are my eyes lying to me...?" I heard Malena whisper.

She sounded so afraid, I actually thought that she was saying her last words to me instead of asking me a question that I really didn't want to answer.

"I-I don't think so, May..."

I didn't want to say it. Really, I didn't. But what else are you supposed to say when the whole truth is practically dancing right in front of your face?

"This can't be happening! It just can't be! C-can it?"

"Well, not a lot of people around here exactly like the stuff they sell... You know?" I answer, walking into the store and looking around in dismay.

Everything seemed in order, aside from the lack of the Hello Panda cookies. And the lack of Pocky...

Wait a minute. Lack of Pocky! If they were going out of business, then they wouldn't restock their merchandise! That means that as soon as they're out of Pocky, they're OUT of Pocky!

"Ever? Ever~?" I heard Malena call out in a singsong voice, waving her hand in front of my face.

I was staring at an empty spot. An empty spot where all of the Pocky would have been sitting at. I felt my heart shatter into tiny little pieces. All of the Milk Chocolate Pocky... was gone. Just gone. Like the wind. It felt like I couldn't breathe. And all of this was over Milk Chocolate Pocky.

"Can I help you two?" a confused voice asked from beside Malena.

I turned to face the person with a sad face. Really, it was just a guy who was staring at us with a confused look. He had green eyes that actually showed how worried he was, and his brown hair sort of hid them. It was ruffled and slightly long. I liked guys with long hair.

"Yes please," Malena smiled, messing with her dark brown hair. "Where is the Milk Chocolate Pocky at?"

"Oh, there's two more packages behind the counter."

I felt my heart super glue back together. "Can we have them please?" I practically begged, putting my hands in said begging position.

He chuckled, nodding and waving us over to the counter. We followed behind him with happy faces, mine for a completely different reason than mi amiga's...

"Oh, my name's Lowell, in case you wanted to know," the worker introduced himself, going behind the counter and rummaging through some things.

I could faintly hear Malena swoon under her breath before making a sound that basically meant she had heard him. I only shook my head. "I'm Ever, and she's Malena."

A chuckle could be heard from Lowell. "Nice to meet the both of you. Ah, here it is!" he called out, walking back towards us with a smile in his eyes.

The brunette held out the both of us a box each. As we reached out to grab them, he pulled them away slightly. A disappointed look crossed my dear friend's face. "What is it?" she asked.

A look of seriousness was on Lowell's face as he made direct eye contact with the both of us. "Whatever you do, do not each those all in the same day. One for each day. Don't skip any days and please, for the love of God, don't get the boxes mixed up."

Malena raised an eyebrow at him. Good, at least I'm not the only one thinking he's crazy. "Why?"

"Just promise me you'll do as I say," Lowell sighed. "I'm not even supposed to be giving these to you..."

That caught my attention. "Why not? For some secret government offical?"

Lowell gave me a 'Just take the damn thing' look before handing us the boxes in our hands. "Now go home before my boss comes out of the storage room," he ordered, pushing us out of the store as a person came into view.

Confused, the both of us walked to the center of the mall in silence until Malena could say the only thing that she was thinking: "What the hell was his problem?"

I merely shrugged and called my mom and dad, informing them we were ready to go back home.

_**Time Break~**_

"Okay, now click the title screen for it...," Malena instructed, pointing to the Ocarina of time channel on the Wii.

"Fine fine...," I muttered, doing as she told with the Wii remote.

When we got back to my house, my mom already had the Wii Shop Channel up and running. I couldn't escape the inevitable as Malena basically stole my controller, selected Ocarina of Time for me, and made me wait ten minutes with her sitting on me so i couldn't cancel the download. That was only five minutes ago. Still pretty pissed about everything, even though my parents had left to go to some party. Anyway, as I hit the start button, it told me I needed a Wii Classic Controller and blah blah blah... while that was happening and we waited for the actual game to start, I felt the urge to open my box of Pocky. Appearantly, May was thinking the same as we both grabbed each other's boxes at the same time.

"Wait, is this my box or yours?" She asked, quite confused.

I merely rolled my eyes. Was she serious? "Malena, you have got to be kidding me. You actually believe that guy's 'warnings'?"

She frowned. "Ever, he looked serious when he said it, and you know it. No one kids about this stuff!"

"May-"

"Just please check and see if this one is yours or not," she pouted, holding the box out to me.

I gave her a skeptical look, then looked at the box of Pocky in her hands. If that guy was serious... then what would happen if we did eat from the wrong box? Would there be a rip in the space-time continumm? Would humans become slaves to squirrels? Would the apocolypse begin? So many questions raced through my head. So I took the box, looked it over, and gave it back to her.

"It's yours alright. Mine has indents from when my dad tried to steal it," I confirmed, holding up said box with a small smile.

Malena immediately cheered up as we both opened our boxes, grabbing one piece of Pocky each and looking into each other's eyes. "Ready?" she asked as I heard the game start up with the sound of horse hooves.

I only smirked. "Time to take it like a man or give it like one."

And we both took a bite. Then another. And yet another. And nothing happened until we finished our pieces of Pocky and Malena had picked the first empty save file. She entered the name as "EveMay" and hit enter. Then, the game finally began.

At first, it was pretty boring, and I quickly lost interest. I told Malena I was going to grab some orange juice, but all she did was nod as I headed for the kitchen, carrying my box of Pocky along with me. It wasn't that I didn't believe Lowell's words, I just didn't want Malena sneaking a piece behind my back. Grabbing the orange juice out of the fridge and grabbing a glass, my eyes were more interested on the Pocky that I had lied on the counter. It seemed as if it were calling my name, telling me to sneak just one more piece... I gulped quietly, turning my attention back to the orange juice and pouring it into the glass. Hurriedly, I put the container back into the fridge and once again came face-to-face with the tempting box.

Control yourself, Ever... You can resist this. You can resist one of the only things that you live for.

I grabbed the box, opening it and taking another piece of the Milk Chocolate covered biscuit stick into my own hands. Something in the back of my mind told me to put it down, but I didn't listen.

I ate the whole thing within ten seconds.

That's when something strange happened. I heard Malena scream from in the living room, and it wasn't one of happiness either. Quickly, I grabbed the box of Pocky and rushed into the living room, coming face-to-face with a shocking site.

Malena was staring in fear at a black hole that had appeared on the TV screen, swirling like a vortex. My poor friend was shaking like a leaf, watching as something began to crawl out of it. Was this some twisted version of The Ring! It seemed like it as a pair of dark hands emerged from the TV, then a face. And to be honest, the face was NOT Samara's. It was of some guy with gray or green skin, and a weird color of eyes. His hair looked red and an evil smile was showing as his body began to leave the TV.

"Malena, move!" I shouted to my friend, but she was frozen in place, mouth wide open in shock along with her eyes.

A dark chuckle left the guy's lips as he finally stepped onto the carpet, looking at Malena with amused eyes.

"Wise move little girl, cowering at the feet of the great Ganondorf," he laughed, getting closer to Malena.

"G-G... G-Ganon...," Malena stuttered quietly, backing away from him and towards me.

So this was the grand master douche in the Zelda games? The one that wanted to take over Hyrule or whatever it was called for some weird reason everytime? This guy that somehow entered through my TV and is now standing in my living room with heavy looking armor on? THIS GUY! I felt my heart in my throat.

His voice sounded through the room, along with the sound of a sword being pulled from its scabbard. Now I felt my heartbeat quicken. "Too bad you won't be able to enjoy it anymore."

Shit fuck, he was charging straight towards us! I quickly grabbed Malena's hand and dragged her up the stairs towards my room, Ganondorf's laughter filling the house. I could hear Malena screaming as the blade tried to slice her head clean off, only to miss by a couple of inches. Hurriedly, I pushed Malena into my room, following in after her and shutting the door like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Ganondorf began tackling the door from what I could tell as I locked it, breathing heavily in panic. My eyes wandered around my room, trying to find something to hold the door closed. Malena was on my bed, trying her best to take deep breaths and calming down.

"Malena, what the hell did you do?" I demanded, my voice getting an octave higher.

My friend looked up at me with her eyes about to pour out tears of fear and confusion. "A-all I did was eat another piece...," she muttered, holding up her box of Pocky with shaky hands.

That's when it hit me: the fucking Pocky.

We must've eaten it at the same time. Now, I wished I had listened to the little voice inside my head...

"Tell me everything that happened up to when I walked in," I ordered her calmly, pushing my back against the door as it budged a bit.

She rambled about a cut scene where Ganondorf rides by on his horse, the TV screen freezing right then, and her scream as he began climbing out of the TV. I began biting my bottom lip as the door budged more then before. I felt my blood run cold as the metal of Ganondorf's sword ran through my door, missing me by inches.

"Now he's gonna kill us...!" Malena finished, going back to her panicky breathing.

I began thinking in full out worry. "Grab my pole! Hurry!" I whispered to her as Ganondorf began pulling his sword out of the door.

Malena wasted no time handing me the six foot long, 2 inch wide metal pole that I kept near my bed in case a robber or something came into the house. Too bad this wasn't a robber because then I would actually have a chance against them instead of the King of all fucking Evil. And bastardness, can't forget bastardness.

I hurried away from the door and towards the bed, Malena standing beside me and still shaking. Suddenly, the door was kicked, the lock becoming completely useless as the door was busted down onto the ground. There in front of us stood Ganondorf, an unamused look on his face. He stepped towards us as I took up an offensive stance, eyes narrowed. Then, he chuckled as he was only twelve feet away from us. Malena whimpered.

"You think a mere pole can defeat me? Surely, you must be joking...," he laughed, aiming his sword at us.

"What do you want with us, huh?" Malena shouted, trying her best to sound unintimidated.

She was being pretty brave and all, but I could tell she couldn't hold him up for long.

He scoffed. "Scum like you shouldn't know what I'm doing...," he bellowed, trying to swing at us.

I held my pole up as he sliced it in half, leaving me with two poles in my hands now. They were now only three feet long... I handed the extra one to Malena as Ganondorf laughed crudely, getting closer.

"Ever, what do we do...?" Malena whispered, holding the pole poorly.

"Back to the living room...," I replied, not losing sight of Ganondorf at all.

"What? How?"

"Just trust me..."

Then, Ganon swung at us. We ducked, slamming the poles into his knees and dashing past him, our Pocky in our pockets as we made a mad dash down the stairs. We could hear his heavy footsteps following behind us as we skidded into the living room, the TV the same as before. He was now standing in front of the TV, making my idea come into mind.

If we could force him into the TV and turn off the Wii, he wouldn't be able to come back out! At least, I hoped it would work. It better work, or we'll end up like sushi at this bastard's hands.

He wasted no time charging at us, and we did the same in retaliation. Immediatly, we slammed our poles into his side and chest, making him stumble and blindly swing his sword around the room. He almost got Malena's head again. The side of the blade however slammed into my arm, making me wince. I knew there was going to be a bruise there in the morning. I lifted my leg and kicked at his knee as hard as I could, hearing him grunt as Malena whacked his side again. He tripped over the Wii, falling backwards. But not without gripping our arms.

"You two are coming with me!" he shouted, falling into the TV with an evil laugh.

Both of us screamed, feeling as if we were being crushed into little pieces as we were sucked into the TV.

Shit fuck, we were dead.

**There you have it, Chapter 1 of Pocky Does Magical Things! Please tell me if I should continue this, and I could use some help for ideas for IOTFM. And please forgive me for any typos, I had to type this on Wordpad. ^ ^ Constructive criticism is wanted. *insert hearts and dancing Kirby's here***

**-Haxutani-**


End file.
